Saturdays, (Outside) The (closed) Park

Start it off with what happened many moons ago as a result of Alex's masterfully coreographed Maggie May lipsync! Go to http://vimeo.com/1956822 and watch it.

An accidental sighting of Ben Grove the moment Shipman appeared was good! The fact he was listening to the same band the guy was singing to was weird as well!

"Random outburst" as Shipman put it, whilst waiting for Ed to tie his shoes!

Ed and his nuggets, he couldn't just leave them now could he?

SPF 50. Ed saved my life! Lukas refused to supply me with any, and his claim that you didn't need it was brutally proved wrong when he burnt so bad he could barely shower!

Lukas showing off his newly scraped hand due to a stone that threw him to the floor at 100MPH despite going at about 1! Anyway, he then discovered it was "just a bit of manky skin he pulled off", which he talked about for the next hour...

Coathanger art. Ed's stoked, as you can see.

Lukas texting Pepsi. He won nothing of course. And Ed did as well. Same goes!

Filming Alex doing a wallie. Which was a lot better than it looks here, it was so clean, far and high!

Lukas dicking my board. And it's still there, possibly permanent?!

Kittens! Dizzee Rascal and Darcy, all up in this joint.

Darcy surveying the area...

...and finding a threat!

And all because Lukas wanted a burger!

Best quiz known to man!

http://apps.facebook.com/whichamazingbada/

Which amazing badass pokémon are you? Oh man, the questions and answers are class:

Question 1
You're walking down the GODDAMN street and someone offers you some GODDAMN Greek Style Natural Yoghurt. What the FUCK do you do?

YOGHURT DOESN'T EXIST IN MY FUCKING ERA.

RUN AROUND FUCKING ATTACKING PEOPLE COZ YOU CAN'T SEE THE FUCKING YOGHURT.

FUCKING KICK THE BASTARD.

FUCKING MOO.

NURSE IT BACK TO FULL FUCKING HEALTH.

FLOAT.

LICK THAT SHIT UP.

FUCKING FEEL DEPRESSED AND SIGH.

FUCKING ELECTRIFY THE FUCK OUT OF IT COZ YOU CAN'T EAT IT.

SPLIT IT INTO NINE EVEN SIZED FUCKING PORTIONS.

HAUNT THE SHIT OUT OF THE YOGHURT.

FUCKING SLASH THE FUCKING YOGHURT.

Question 2
Someone bakes you a GODDAMN LEMON CAKE. WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU DO?!

FUCKING PUT IT IN THE OVEN.

FUCKING CHARGE AT IT.

FUCKING PLAY SOCCER WITH IT.

WHAT'S A LEMON CAKE?!

CUT IT INTO GODDAMN EQUAL SLICES.

PARALYSE THAT SHIT.

FUCKING BURY THAT SHIT.

I DON'T LIKE LEMON CAKE.

LICK THAT SHIT..

TAKE IT TO THE GODDAMN HOSPITAL FOR THE GODDAMN CHILDREN

FUCKING FLAP AROUND AND SHIT.

FUCKING CAN'T EAT IT COZ I DON'T HAVE A MOUTH.

Question 3
You're walking around in some GODDAMN tall grass and some ASSHOLE tries to throw a FUCKING BALL AT YOU. WHAT THE SHIT DO YOU DO?

DO SOME GODDAMN KNITTING.

FUCKING GLARE AT THAT SHIT.

PLAY SOME GODDAMN SOCCER

FUCKING LICK THE BALL AND IT GETS FUCKING PARALYSED.

FUCKING MOO THE SHIT OUT OF IT.

FUCKING BE A ROCK.

FUCKING FLY AROUND COZ YOU CAN'T SEE IT.

FUCKING NURSE THAT SHIT.

FUCKING BE GREEN.

FUCKING TRY AND CATCH ALL THREE OF ME!

WHAT THE FUCK ARE HUMANS?!

FUCKING PLAY BASEBALL.

Question 4
What is FUCKING FUNNY to you?

THE FUCKING CHILDREN.

Pretending to be a rock and then PUNCHING THE SHIT OUT OF SOMEONE.

AAAAHHHH!!!!

PURPLE.

PEOPLE WITHOUT BIGASS TONGUES.

FUCKING MOUTHS.

KNIVES AND SHIT.

I DON'T FIND SHIT FUNNY. THAT'S FOR FUCKING VULPIX OR SOME SHIT.

FUCKING PUNCHING.

Nothing is funny.

FUCKING TECHNOLOGY.

CHARGING THE SHIT OUT OF SOMEONE.

Question 5
You fail your GODDAMN exams. WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU DO?!

KICK THAT SHIT.

FUCKING THROW SHIT AROUND AND FUCKING MAKE AN EARTHQUAKE.

FUCKING DIE.

BURN! BURN! BUUUUUURRRRN!

MAKE OUT WITH THE EXAMINERS.

FUCKING CRY.

FUCKING NURSE THE EXAM TO EXCELLENCE.

FOSSILISE THAT SHIT.

DO SOME GODDAMN HYPER BEAMS OUT OF YOUR FOREHEAD.

FUCKING STICK TO A FRIDGE OR SOME SHIT.

SLASH THAT SHIT TO SHREDS.

WHAT?! I DIDN'T TAKE ANY FUCKING EXAMS I CAN'T SEE THE PAPER AND I CAN'T WRITE! JUST LET ME FUCKING FLAP!

Question 6
Where the FUCK do you LIVE?!

A BADASS HOSPITAL

SOME TALL FUCKING GRASS.

SOME GODDAMN FARM

FUCKING EVERYWHERE

A FUCKING KARATE...PLACE

Fucking in the past.

SOME GODDAMN WEEDS

I DON'T FUCKING KNOW!

SOME GODDAMN CLOUD OR SOMETHING.

SOME NASTY ASS MAGNET.

SOME GODDAMN MOUNTAIN THAT HAS A BUNCH OF ROCKS AND SHIT.

A FUCKING VOLCANO

Question 7
Someone asks you to take a GODDAMN picture. WHAT DO YOU DO!?

LICK THE FUCKING CAMERA

DO SOME GODDAMN FLOATING.

FUCKING SLASH THE FUCK OUT OF THE PEEPS BEFORE YOU TAKE THE GODDAMN PICTURE.

CHARGE AT THAT SHIT.

FUCKING NURSE THAT SHIT.

FUCKING BECOME FOSSILISED OR SOME SHIT.

FUCKING TAKE NINE PHOTOS.

AAAH! YOU CAN'T HOLD THE CAMERA COZ YOU'RE BLIND AND HAVE NO HANDS!

FUCKING DROP KICK HIM.

THROW SOME GODDAMN ROCKS.

PUT THAT NASTY ASS CAMERA TO SLEEP.

BE FUCKING SAD NO ONE TAKES PICTURES WITH YOU.

Quiz Finished!

Etnies Recognition Tour through Eddies eyes:

http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/album.php?aid=24015&id=1136382609

Etnies Recognition Tour: The Works, Leeds

Sidewalk edit: http://video.mpora.com/watch/FB664AGw7

Skiing in Italy - Day 6

Paddy gettin' in there!

Angry army man gettin' in there!

Kru. So G it hurts.

Zebrahead/ Headhead

Put the girls ski gear on the PE teacher. With a massive can of beer that despite the normal ones costing 40 cents were actually nice!

Pro

Not so pro

Straight up pro

Bros. Haha, look at Alex being miserable (2nd from left) and me being an opera singer (middle)!

Skiing in Italy - Day 5

Rollin' deep

Yes bowlrider old man!

Getting ready for the slalom, the blue arch in the background was what we pushed through to start the timer.

Waiting...

...and more waiting. Covering Will with snow is fun, falling knee deep in a snowdrift to take the photo and having to jump/ roll to get out is better!

Shipman getting helped out after failing to put his ski on

Pask getting bummed by Will Tse.

I love this photo! Me: "Oh man, that pizza was huge", Lewis: "Want another one?", Me: "What?! You had a large portion of chips before that as well, what the hell?!"

Have it view.

Ice slide. Doing this got me a massive hipper that required bruise cream and tentative sitting down!

Joe doing the ice slide. The one of the left of him was horrible, just like sliding down rock. And at the bottom of a fairly doable one was a pit dug in by ski boots slamming into the ground, and so when you went into that you just crumpled.

Some guy coming out of the slalom in the distance

Edge of the earth.

FUNTIME!!!

Up down up down left push push right push push up down up down up and clear bump, push push up down up and clear massive jump steep right steep left push push relax realise you're going faster than you thought parallel

Sofia advertising safety and Pask thrusting. Yeah...

Will expressing his shock at the fact that we all got within the same second for the slalom!

Niall, Me, Ed, Anthony, Alex, Tombo and BZ's idea of normality

This is typed exactly howit was written, not even the punctuation is changed. (and for the record, I don't have an obsession with SPT, the racist bit is BZ, and the disgusting bits are more than likely to be Dells/ Alex, including the bollocks about wombs and Mrs Snee...)



Skidoosh is the dangling goiter of Gary Linecker's potato fetish. Skrooby droo sucks pavement pizza because it's medicinal and it gives little boys chest acne. "Penisbrittle!!!" exclaimed Shakespeare "my ass itcheth it's like lice-city!". Then [B.Z]. Guff Mcguire masturbates toad-sheep because Yak's gotta anti-fungus disability, which in turn gives Yak pleasure. BOOM!! "Hella bangin'!" Exclaimed Yak & Reda. Your penis is tiny Guffy. Miss Hughes + Yak = Yak's death from lack of wombat porn "SKIDOOSH!" said Snoopy, "indubitably", said Sherlock Bones and Mrs Snee. "The Zombie Game" caused erotic erectile disfunction however Yak is emo and get's Sarah's womb!!! "Mmmm Exhaust orgasms" said Yak "SARAH!!! is already historectomied, so fuck me Sarah", said Connor "With oomph!" replied Callan, before starting to masticate Sarah's mother "I'm here to get laid" Callan said, wanking. Muffaty hummer. "Yak!" screamed the drain. "Death of a whore" cried Yak, sodomizing. "Oh Yak," moaned Mrs. Ratcliffe (his wife), who goes by the name of SPT - Science Am, who's best friend is a little chocolate man called Shaun, and runs over Irish policemen daily because racism is fantastic!... nigger!

Ed bummed Hough and Yak felt left out. "Fatty Boomalang," exclaimed Mr Curly Bellend, "Yak is horny!". Emo's shit constantly. Anal was given to Ed by Gordon Brown and Mrs Snee's dog-like vagina - Ohhh FISHY! Fish fish paste! Yak smells bad and Guff McGuire Rules this school!!

(Me now): I seem to have caught a lot of shit in this. And that was actually quite disturbing, I was trying to keep it normal when we wrote it but I didn't realise it was this bad!

Long Clawson 10K Run

I've been training for this for just under a month. 6 and a bit K, 3 times a week. Timing myself, as you lot have seen from the various status updates on Facebook (which you're also sick of!) Anyway, today was what I'd been waiting for! But, my training runs had been 6 and a bit K, not 7. So, my estimate of 45 mins was out - too fast to hit. However, my time of 49'31 for 10K is about the same pace as would have been necessary to hit 45 mins for 9K, so I reckon I pretty much hit my target! I owe only walking 30 or 40 metres of it to the guy behind me, who shouted "Come on, last mile and a half" to me, and that got me going again. I shook his hand at the end, told him thanks for the help. Nice bloke.

Starting with the end. Notice the zombie eyes! Dad: "Stand up straight", Me: "I can't!"

The weather here doesn't look as good as it was, it was actually perfect, no wind, warm, sunny. Amazing! One part of the course was really nice, it was like a mountain path; about a foot wide with a really steep drop on your right with blackberry bushes and lavender and stuff on it, and a massive hedge on your left. Going through the forest was sick as well, there was one hill that was pretty much straight up, I could have used my hands to pull myself up it!

Connor getting into the spirit of things by walking slowly from the car where he'd been on his DS to get a hotdog.

Mum :)

Athelete's lounge? Meh, free Powerade, that was rad!

Putting on everything I'd burnt off again.

Literally the first thing when I saw this was "Oh God! Eugh, God!", as I thought it was what I had been trying to avoid running through on some of the fields... Luckily, it wasn't!

Things that can cheer you up whilst revising:

Stickers.

Eddy's nicknames.

Eddy's messages.

Eddy and me on Little Big Planet (me on the left, eddy on the right)!