Skiing in Italy - Day 6

Paddy gettin' in there!

Angry army man gettin' in there!

Kru. So G it hurts.

Zebrahead/ Headhead

Put the girls ski gear on the PE teacher. With a massive can of beer that despite the normal ones costing 40 cents were actually nice!

Pro

Not so pro

Straight up pro

Bros. Haha, look at Alex being miserable (2nd from left) and me being an opera singer (middle)!

Skiing in Italy - Day 5

Rollin' deep

Yes bowlrider old man!

Getting ready for the slalom, the blue arch in the background was what we pushed through to start the timer.

Waiting...

...and more waiting. Covering Will with snow is fun, falling knee deep in a snowdrift to take the photo and having to jump/ roll to get out is better!

Shipman getting helped out after failing to put his ski on

Pask getting bummed by Will Tse.

I love this photo! Me: "Oh man, that pizza was huge", Lewis: "Want another one?", Me: "What?! You had a large portion of chips before that as well, what the hell?!"

Have it view.

Ice slide. Doing this got me a massive hipper that required bruise cream and tentative sitting down!

Joe doing the ice slide. The one of the left of him was horrible, just like sliding down rock. And at the bottom of a fairly doable one was a pit dug in by ski boots slamming into the ground, and so when you went into that you just crumpled.

Some guy coming out of the slalom in the distance

Edge of the earth.

FUNTIME!!!

Up down up down left push push right push push up down up down up and clear bump, push push up down up and clear massive jump steep right steep left push push relax realise you're going faster than you thought parallel

Sofia advertising safety and Pask thrusting. Yeah...

Will expressing his shock at the fact that we all got within the same second for the slalom!

Niall, Me, Ed, Anthony, Alex, Tombo and BZ's idea of normality

This is typed exactly howit was written, not even the punctuation is changed. (and for the record, I don't have an obsession with SPT, the racist bit is BZ, and the disgusting bits are more than likely to be Dells/ Alex, including the bollocks about wombs and Mrs Snee...)



Skidoosh is the dangling goiter of Gary Linecker's potato fetish. Skrooby droo sucks pavement pizza because it's medicinal and it gives little boys chest acne. "Penisbrittle!!!" exclaimed Shakespeare "my ass itcheth it's like lice-city!". Then [B.Z]. Guff Mcguire masturbates toad-sheep because Yak's gotta anti-fungus disability, which in turn gives Yak pleasure. BOOM!! "Hella bangin'!" Exclaimed Yak & Reda. Your penis is tiny Guffy. Miss Hughes + Yak = Yak's death from lack of wombat porn "SKIDOOSH!" said Snoopy, "indubitably", said Sherlock Bones and Mrs Snee. "The Zombie Game" caused erotic erectile disfunction however Yak is emo and get's Sarah's womb!!! "Mmmm Exhaust orgasms" said Yak "SARAH!!! is already historectomied, so fuck me Sarah", said Connor "With oomph!" replied Callan, before starting to masticate Sarah's mother "I'm here to get laid" Callan said, wanking. Muffaty hummer. "Yak!" screamed the drain. "Death of a whore" cried Yak, sodomizing. "Oh Yak," moaned Mrs. Ratcliffe (his wife), who goes by the name of SPT - Science Am, who's best friend is a little chocolate man called Shaun, and runs over Irish policemen daily because racism is fantastic!... nigger!

Ed bummed Hough and Yak felt left out. "Fatty Boomalang," exclaimed Mr Curly Bellend, "Yak is horny!". Emo's shit constantly. Anal was given to Ed by Gordon Brown and Mrs Snee's dog-like vagina - Ohhh FISHY! Fish fish paste! Yak smells bad and Guff McGuire Rules this school!!

(Me now): I seem to have caught a lot of shit in this. And that was actually quite disturbing, I was trying to keep it normal when we wrote it but I didn't realise it was this bad!

Long Clawson 10K Run

I've been training for this for just under a month. 6 and a bit K, 3 times a week. Timing myself, as you lot have seen from the various status updates on Facebook (which you're also sick of!) Anyway, today was what I'd been waiting for! But, my training runs had been 6 and a bit K, not 7. So, my estimate of 45 mins was out - too fast to hit. However, my time of 49'31 for 10K is about the same pace as would have been necessary to hit 45 mins for 9K, so I reckon I pretty much hit my target! I owe only walking 30 or 40 metres of it to the guy behind me, who shouted "Come on, last mile and a half" to me, and that got me going again. I shook his hand at the end, told him thanks for the help. Nice bloke.

Starting with the end. Notice the zombie eyes! Dad: "Stand up straight", Me: "I can't!"

The weather here doesn't look as good as it was, it was actually perfect, no wind, warm, sunny. Amazing! One part of the course was really nice, it was like a mountain path; about a foot wide with a really steep drop on your right with blackberry bushes and lavender and stuff on it, and a massive hedge on your left. Going through the forest was sick as well, there was one hill that was pretty much straight up, I could have used my hands to pull myself up it!

Connor getting into the spirit of things by walking slowly from the car where he'd been on his DS to get a hotdog.

Mum :)

Athelete's lounge? Meh, free Powerade, that was rad!

Putting on everything I'd burnt off again.

Literally the first thing when I saw this was "Oh God! Eugh, God!", as I thought it was what I had been trying to avoid running through on some of the fields... Luckily, it wasn't!

Things that can cheer you up whilst revising:

Stickers.

Eddy's nicknames.

Eddy's messages.

Eddy and me on Little Big Planet (me on the left, eddy on the right)!

Drinking

Last night was pretty much the definition of drinking for the sake of drinking; it couldn't have been anything else. Drinking most of a bottle of Bacardi Supreme because I could and it was there. It was fun being drunk, as anyone would say it is, but the results of it outside you're own perception of how you are is really shocking. You lose your dignity completely, and you become a complete idiot. For instance, running to get to where you said you'd be should normally be an easy thing. Drunk, it becomes ridiculous. I ran across a playground about 50 metres long, and nearly fell over. I missed the gate that was half open and ran full pelt instead into the knee-high fence next to it, going straight over and fucking my knee and shoulder (without even doing in my clothes?!). I don't know if I broke the gate or not, and I wouldn't be surprised if I did. Made it out of the school down past the pub, fell down the curb then up the curb, and then down then up again. I don't remember really, but I think I eventually got to near Alex's, where I met Jasmine. She told me Sarah had got picked up, but I didn't take it in. Then she said Sam had been sick and was lying on the floor in the park. So, back I went. Pulled him (and his trousers?) up with the help of Alex and Callan, and then off I went again. Got some of his puke from his hand on my shoulder as well, which I found in the morning. Anyway, got there are back without incident, and then Dad rang. Picked it up, talked, he immediately knew I was completely gone. I was even such a dick I decided I could pull off the "I'm not drunk, look, I'm fine" line. And there's the first incident of alcohol fucking you up and making you lose you're dignity in it's entirety. Got home, did the same with Mum, and all the time taking two attempts at picking something up or closing something, missing it the first time. Second incident. Went to bed, slept, vomited. Woke up, and freaked out. We've all heard "So-and-so choked on his own vomit and died". Third, and the most prominent, incident right there. It really hits you how much of a prick you've been when you realise you could have easily died if you hadn't had the dumb luck to fall to sleep on your side. Having a very screwed up stomach after that as well was horrible too, as I had no idea what I could do about it and it was actually preventing me from moving.

So, the point of this anecdote of embaressment and stupidity is that drinking because alcohol is there is beyond stupid. You lose your dignity, and people think you are a complete knob, and with good reason, because the state that you are in, you're a knob for getting yourself into. I'm never doing it again, because of the simple reasons that I'd prefer to know what I'm doing, remember it, not feel like shit or a feel like a dick in the morning, not have other people watch you thinking "What a twat, he thinks he's the shit", and not lose your dignity through over-consumption of fermented corn or whatever the hell Bacardi Supreme is.

"Old Red he died... an empty bottle of whisky lying by his side"

Ben, bottesford and idiots

Spent the morning digging up mud and moving it...

...Into a big slug pile to make a raised flower bed. Dad wants the space where the mud was lowered so we can have another shed with all the bikes and the ride-one lawn mower in it, so we have room in the garage for another car, which looks like it's going to be a Maserati!

Ben being stoked on a traffic cone

Ben being stoked generally! (Even though this was just after the previous photo)

Martyn - "Haha, what the fuck is that?!"

me - "It's blogcam 5000!"

Ben - "Shut up, tell it you love it, to the camera!"

Alex being stoked on the new quarter/ flatbank with a coping

Skiing in Italy - Day 3

Skiing in Italy – Day 2

No photos from the slopes until the very end, as I decided it would be better not to have a broken camera for the rest of the trip, so here’s some photos of the view and Alex being pissed off with a pair of goggles. Luckily he took 2; the other pair broke.

Burton

Burton. Check out Wayne Rooney going for it on the left!

Portrait? Haha!

Miniramp champ,

Miniramp scamp.

Eddies new Facebook photo. They all seem to be taken by me; Blogcam 5000 getting around!

Or this one? Haha, neck chimpface!

"No, no." Yes Callan!

Haha, BZ's face!

Ignore Alex's back boneless, Callan's rideaway is so sick.

Fonejacker!

Dogpiss rock fakies = the stink grin.